More Vermi-Humor

I recently announced the winner of the Vermi-Humor Challenge, but didn’t share the 2nd and 3rd place entries – or any of the ones I felt deserved an “honorary mention”. So that’s what I’d like to do today.


2nd Place – Marge T.

Be a Worm
(To the tune of “My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean”)

If I could be some other creature
A worm is what I’d like to be
I’d always admired its feature
To wiggle where no none can see

chorus

Wiggle, squiggle, deep down underground where it’s moist and cool
Wiggle, squiggle, tunneling through with no tool!

At times worms come up to the surface
To wiggle along the dry ground
Only to find they will dry out
Then head back where moisture is found

chorus
Wiggle, squiggle, deep down underground where it’s moist and cool
Wiggle, squiggle, tunneling through with no tool!

Some don’t understand the worms’ mission
To munch on dead things as they toil
They make room for roots as they tunnel
And poop out a nutrient-rich soil

chorus
Wiggle, squiggle, deep down underground where it’s moist and cool
Wiggle, squiggle, tunneling through with no tool!

This one definitely made me smile (I even started singing it to myself – lol), and I appreciated the fact that Marge took the time to come up with all those wormy lyrics (and got them to work with the tune).


3rd Place – Henry H.

An optimist sees the glass as half full; a pessimist sees it as half
empty; a vermicomposter sees way too much moisture and not enough
bedding.

This one was a very simple joke – but it definitely made me “LOL”! I thought it was very creative as well.


Honorary Mentions (In No Particular Order)

Wiggle Worm Rock

Wiggle Worms, Jiggle Worms, Wiggle Worms ROCK
Wiggle Worms Crawl and Wiggle Worms Sprawl
Composting their bedding provides bushels of fun
Now the Wiggle crop has begun…

Wiggle Worms, Jiggle Worms, Wiggle Worms ROCK
Wiggle Worms graze in timely amaze
No light or salt in my Wiggle Worm Bin
the coffee grounds are in.

~ Candis C.


There once was a worm from Nantucket, who lived his whole life in a bucket.
If he’d only had hands and other demands, his shirt tail he surely would tuck it…

John D.


Why did the worm cross the road? Because the underpasses were flooded!

~ Marge T


If you’ve ever rushed across the room to stop a guest from throwing food scraps in the garbage can…
You might be a vermicomposter.
If you’ve ever “stolen” horse manure from a stable…
You might be a vermicomposter.
If you’ve ever taken up half your freezer with food garbage…
You might be a vermicomposter.
If you’ve ever used your coffee grinder to grind egg shells…
You might be a vermicomposter.
If you’ve ever referred to a room in your house as the “worm closet” …
You might be a vermicomposter.
If you’ve ever raided someone’s recycling bin at the curb for newspapers and egg cartons…
You might be a vermicomposter.
If you’ve ever planned your Saturday around worm feeding time…
You might be a vermicomposter.

Scott


FUNNY QUOTES

“You want the meat scraps!? You can’t handle the meat scraps!” — Jack Wiggleson from the movie “A Few Good Worms”

“I love the smell of compost in the morning.” — Apocompostalypse Now

“I feel the need – the need to feed” – Top Worm

~ Phil H.


A teacher decided that a hands on experiment would add excitement to his biology class for young kids.
So he proceeded to put four worms into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate sauce. The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the end of the class, the teacher reported the following results:
1st: Worm in alcohol -Dead.
2nd: Worm in cigarette smoke – Dead
3rd: Worm in chocolate sauce -Dead
4th Worm in good clean soil -Alive.

So the teacher asked the class -What did you learn from this demonstration?
Johnny was sitting in the back, and quickly raised his hand and said,
‘As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won’t have worms!’

~ “ONEMAN”


Two friends go to lunch. At the end of the meal one friend hasn’t eaten all her food. The other friend (worm head) says “You’re not throwing that away are you? I’ll take it…I’ve got worms.

~ Sharon K.


Thanks very much to all those who submitted an entry. Lots of funny stuff!
And of course, a BIG congrats to our 2nd and 3rd place winners (who get a free pass to their choice of the VermBin Series package or Easy Vermicomposting)

8)

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