You Know You’re a Worm-Head – Part Deux

I have little doubt that a good number of our readers will recall my “You Know You Are A True Worm-Head When…” post from last year. It turned out to be one of the most popular posts on the blog, and one that people definitely seemed to have a lot of fun with. In light on this, I thought it would be fun to see if we could put together a sequel! As you’ll see, there were a LOT of funny/creative contributions, so it might be a bit challenging to come up with a bunch of new ones – but I’m sure we can do it (and worse case scenario, we’ll certainly have some fun revisiting the old list)

Here are all the original contributions:

You Know You Are A True Worm-Head When…

…you’re the only person you know who gets excited about rotting produce.

…any time you try to type the words “world”, “warm”, “word” or “work” you end up with “worm”.

…you have a worm bin that doubles as a piece of furniture.

…you’ve attempted to name all your worms at least once.

…your heart skips a beat walking down the plastic bin aisle in department stores.

…you start seeing EVERY container as a potential worm bin.

…you are shocked when your friends tell you they spent $200 on new “bedding”.

…your worms get more respect that your cats/dogs.

…on warm, rainy days you walk along the sidewalk on tippy toes, looking down constantly.

…the phrase “they’re only worms!” deeply offends you.

…you love the smell of a worm bin in the morning.

…you welcome guests into your home by saying “hey, wanna go see my worms?”.

…you’d be a millionaire if you received a dime for every fruit fly and fungus gnat hatched in your home.

…you include ‘vermicomposting’ as part of your skill-set on resumes.

…you start eyeing produce (with an evil glint in your eye) in your fridge well before it’s past its prime.

…the picture above makes you smile.

~ Bentley

…Your 2-year-old has his own pretend “worm bin”.

~ Rich A

…You stand in line at Starbucks for the free grounds instead of the double mocha latte with a boost.

~ Patricia

…You have watched the Dirty Jobs show about worm farming and you ask yourself “Where’s the dirty part of the job?”

…You count egg capsules and start naming potential hatchlings.

…In your war against commercial chemical fertilizers, you want to play TAPPS and have a 21 gun salute when a fellow soldier(worm) dies.

…Your a disabled man, but you dig another 6X3X3 pit on your hands and knees to expand your squirm.

…When you name your first two kids Wiggley and Squiggley.

…When you think about starting a vacuum bag recycling program to feed your worms.

…When you look around your neighborhood for piles of leaves and cut grass to use as bedding for your worms.

…When you frequent the local stores to ask for aged vegetables for your wormy friends to eat.

~ Vermiman

…When the young children visit, they step over the dogs to visit
the worms

~ George

A poem from my wife:

Recipe for a wormhead
A wormhead has alot of passion
To make this happen you gotta ration
To make a combo of compost into soil
You need leaves, garbage but please hold the oil
You make this barrel so you can churn
And add a windwhirl so it can turn
In the process this begins to get hot
Lets throw in some egg shells, coffee and grass in the pot
As it rots in this barrel and goes through it’s phase
The wormhead has this look of amaze
Then juices start flowing and we’ll call it teas
He hands it to me as food for my trees
He’s getting it all ready and here comes the worms
He’s gaining anxiety for all that he’s learned
Now here comes the good part that all has been done
He’s prospering well for all he’s begun

~ Mark From Kansas

…living a life where saying “I have to go water my worms” actually makes sense

~ allochthon

…You go out to eat, eye other peoples leftovers that would make great worm food and you sneak some into your pocket to bring home…of course your pocket has a baggie for just such occasions.

…You asked your friends and family to save worm food for you.

…Your Christmas card has a picture with you and your worms. You realize later, only when someone points it out, that your spouse and kids were not in the photo.

…When touching poop is not a scary thing anymore.

~ Andy

…You keep a zip lock bag in your car just in case you find something you can feed your worms laying on the ground.

…You have stopped your car by the side of the road to pick up a banana peel someone dropped while crossing the street.

…You shred every piece of paper you toss out, not just the paper with confidential information on it.

…When your shredder gets full, you keep the contents.

…When you shred the envelopes from the power company, you cut the plastic windows out first.

…Your friends give you wilted produce as gifts.

~ Scott B.

…Ask the produce worker if you can have his “leavings” when he cleans up the produce.

…Decide if you want to keep the leftovers for yourself or feed to the worms.

~ Sherry

…when you tell people you have worms and your smiling.

…when your spouse knows your a little off but saves scrapes anyway, or is that love?

…when you lay awake at night and wonder about your worms.

…when you go to check on them and the moving mass of diving reds just makes your heart warm.

…when all you ask for for Christmas has to do with worms.

~ Rick D.

Ah yes….I live in the UK but all this sounds sooo familiar! I, too, find myself regarding the past their sell by date veg and other food as potential worm food-When I’m at a Pub, or Restaurant, I eye the left overs with a glint in my eye, summoning up the courage to ask for a “doggy bag” to take home (or should that be a wormy bag? On courses, where we share lunch, I am the only one taking home other people’s leftovers! Not forgetting Freecycle as a source of wormy accessories and homes. I’ve been known to go up the garden to cover my wormery with extra fleece/bubble wrap in my pyjamas on cold nights! I’ve ceased worrying what the neighbours think! Worms make me smile….I talk to mine! How about you?

~ Angie H.

(W)hen
(O)ur
(R)elatives
(M)urmur
(S)ecretly

~ Vermiman

…When you make RED WORM COMPOSTING your home page.

…When you put on rubber glove so the worms won’t get anything from off your hands.( even though you washed them twice ).

~ Scott D.

I love those comments… and got the funniest looks when I asked the church ladies that came over for tea if they wanted to see my worms….I shoulda had my camera…. but guess what? Two of them said Yes… they are gardeners, so were quite interested.. and I am going to help one of them get started in vermiculture this spring..I have gotten to the point where I ask the local produce manager for wilted lettuce, etc.. and he gives it to me.. wooo hooo

~ Carolyn

…When you worry about how your worms are while away on vacation…

…When you start to worry if you’re too excited about poop…

…When you can sit for hours watching your worm bin…

…All of the other comments are sooooo true! Its very reassuring!

~ Laina

…you show mating worms to your son and don’t understand why he isn’t as excited as you are even though you exclaim, “But you don’t understand how exciting this is!”

…your boss gets you a kitchen composter for Christmas! (thanx, John!)

…lose count of how many cocoons there are when you’re harvesting.

~ Denise

…when your proper and dignified mother proudly gives you a bag of carrot peelings she saved for your worms.

…Also, when your mother buys a Worm Inn in support of your project, but then does nothing with it. bless her heart

~ Robyn

…you keep your worms in the living room for fear they will get too cold (in the winter) and too hot (in the summer-I live in south FL).

~ Karen

…when you are buried in an avalanche of toilet paper rolls, egg cartons and brown paper bags every time you open a closet

…when you ask for boxes at the grocery store over plastic bags NOT because you are trying to be eco-friendly

…when you spend time day dreaming about the ultimate grinding machine that doubles as a worm harvester

…when you have one small tree and a few shrubs on your property yet you are still pricing chippers

…when you close your eyes and all you see are worms

…when quality time with your spouse involves watching movies while hand-shredding cardboard

~ Bentley

…when you’re seriously considering having your ashes poured onto your wormbin (is that sick or what?)

…when the thought of feeding some of your worms to your baby finches breaks your heart.

~ Kim from Milwaukee

…When you prepare new worm beds months before harvesting.

…When you know your ABCs: Amazing Bin Crawlers!!

~ Vermiman

…You start a worm bin because you are too cheap to keep buying them (worms), but once you get it going, you won’t let your fishing buddies anywhere near your babies.

~ Larry

…you visit Redwormcomposting.com multiple times per day.

…you tell your friends that no newspaper or cardboard boxes are safe in your house.

…you stet up your own neighborhood recycling center for cardboard boxes, old newspapers, vegetable scrapes, coffee grounds/filters, and tea bags.

… your friends think you are weird because you take home all the pizza boxes from the pizza party.

… your friends, instead of going to the recycling center, just give you all their cardboard boxes.

… your teacher wants you to write a report on any pet of your choice and tell how to take care of it, you write one about your worms.

~ Nathan

…you’ve just read through all the archived posts on redwormcomposting.com in case you missed something cool. You did.

~ Craig

I know I’m a true worm head when,
I go to cook at my Long Term, Nursing and rehab facility, and my co-workers ask me if I want the watermelon rines.

~ Ted

…When all of your self-help advice to your friends starts with “do you know about red worms?”

…When you get sunburnt sorting through your worm bin even though you’re wearing 55 spf sunscreen. (Seriously, there must be a time warp every time I start to play in my worm bin. Hours can pass in no time at all.)

…Your idea of quality time with your kids includes sorting worms from VC on the kitchen floor (and a requisite bath afterwards, of course!)

~ Anna

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