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You Know You’re a Worm-Head – Part Deux


I have little doubt that a good number of our readers will recall my “You Know You Are A True Worm-Head When…” post from last year. It turned out to be one of the most popular posts on the blog, and one that people definitely seemed to have a lot of fun with. In light on this, I thought it would be fun to see if we could put together a sequel! As you’ll see, there were a LOT of funny/creative contributions, so it might be a bit challenging to come up with a bunch of new ones – but I’m sure we can do it (and worse case scenario, we’ll certainly have some fun revisiting the old list)

Here are all the original contributions:

You Know You Are A True Worm-Head When…

…you’re the only person you know who gets excited about rotting produce.

…any time you try to type the words “world”, “warm”, “word” or “work” you end up with “worm”.

…you have a worm bin that doubles as a piece of furniture.

…you’ve attempted to name all your worms at least once.

…your heart skips a beat walking down the plastic bin aisle in department stores.

…you start seeing EVERY container as a potential worm bin.

…you are shocked when your friends tell you they spent $200 on new “bedding”.

…your worms get more respect that your cats/dogs.

…on warm, rainy days you walk along the sidewalk on tippy toes, looking down constantly.

…the phrase “they’re only worms!” deeply offends you.

…you love the smell of a worm bin in the morning.

…you welcome guests into your home by saying “hey, wanna go see my worms?”.

…you’d be a millionaire if you received a dime for every fruit fly and fungus gnat hatched in your home.

…you include ‘vermicomposting’ as part of your skill-set on resumes.

…you start eyeing produce (with an evil glint in your eye) in your fridge well before it’s past its prime.

…the picture above makes you smile.

~ Bentley

…Your 2-year-old has his own pretend “worm bin”.

~ Rich A

…You stand in line at Starbucks for the free grounds instead of the double mocha latte with a boost.

~ Patricia

…You have watched the Dirty Jobs show about worm farming and you ask yourself “Where’s the dirty part of the job?”

…You count egg capsules and start naming potential hatchlings.

…In your war against commercial chemical fertilizers, you want to play TAPPS and have a 21 gun salute when a fellow soldier(worm) dies.

…Your a disabled man, but you dig another 6X3X3 pit on your hands and knees to expand your squirm.

…When you name your first two kids Wiggley and Squiggley.

…When you think about starting a vacuum bag recycling program to feed your worms.

…When you look around your neighborhood for piles of leaves and cut grass to use as bedding for your worms.

…When you frequent the local stores to ask for aged vegetables for your wormy friends to eat.

~ Vermiman

…When the young children visit, they step over the dogs to visit
the worms

~ George

A poem from my wife:

Recipe for a wormhead
A wormhead has alot of passion
To make this happen you gotta ration
To make a combo of compost into soil
You need leaves, garbage but please hold the oil
You make this barrel so you can churn
And add a windwhirl so it can turn
In the process this begins to get hot
Lets throw in some egg shells, coffee and grass in the pot
As it rots in this barrel and goes through it’s phase
The wormhead has this look of amaze
Then juices start flowing and we’ll call it teas
He hands it to me as food for my trees
He’s getting it all ready and here comes the worms
He’s gaining anxiety for all that he’s learned
Now here comes the good part that all has been done
He’s prospering well for all he’s begun

~ Mark From Kansas

…living a life where saying “I have to go water my worms” actually makes sense

~ allochthon

…You go out to eat, eye other peoples leftovers that would make great worm food and you sneak some into your pocket to bring home…of course your pocket has a baggie for just such occasions.

…You asked your friends and family to save worm food for you.

…Your Christmas card has a picture with you and your worms. You realize later, only when someone points it out, that your spouse and kids were not in the photo.

…When touching poop is not a scary thing anymore.

~ Andy

…You keep a zip lock bag in your car just in case you find something you can feed your worms laying on the ground.

…You have stopped your car by the side of the road to pick up a banana peel someone dropped while crossing the street.

…You shred every piece of paper you toss out, not just the paper with confidential information on it.

…When your shredder gets full, you keep the contents.

…When you shred the envelopes from the power company, you cut the plastic windows out first.

…Your friends give you wilted produce as gifts.

~ Scott B.

…Ask the produce worker if you can have his “leavings” when he cleans up the produce.

…Decide if you want to keep the leftovers for yourself or feed to the worms.

~ Sherry

…when you tell people you have worms and your smiling.

…when your spouse knows your a little off but saves scrapes anyway, or is that love?

…when you lay awake at night and wonder about your worms.

…when you go to check on them and the moving mass of diving reds just makes your heart warm.

…when all you ask for for Christmas has to do with worms.

~ Rick D.

Ah yes….I live in the UK but all this sounds sooo familiar! I, too, find myself regarding the past their sell by date veg and other food as potential worm food-When I’m at a Pub, or Restaurant, I eye the left overs with a glint in my eye, summoning up the courage to ask for a “doggy bag” to take home (or should that be a wormy bag? On courses, where we share lunch, I am the only one taking home other people’s leftovers! Not forgetting Freecycle as a source of wormy accessories and homes. I’ve been known to go up the garden to cover my wormery with extra fleece/bubble wrap in my pyjamas on cold nights! I’ve ceased worrying what the neighbours think! Worms make me smile….I talk to mine! How about you?

~ Angie H.

(W)hen
(O)ur
(R)elatives
(M)urmur
(S)ecretly

~ Vermiman

…When you make RED WORM COMPOSTING your home page.

…When you put on rubber glove so the worms won’t get anything from off your hands.( even though you washed them twice ).

~ Scott D.

I love those comments… and got the funniest looks when I asked the church ladies that came over for tea if they wanted to see my worms….I shoulda had my camera…. but guess what? Two of them said Yes… they are gardeners, so were quite interested.. and I am going to help one of them get started in vermiculture this spring..I have gotten to the point where I ask the local produce manager for wilted lettuce, etc.. and he gives it to me.. wooo hooo

~ Carolyn

…When you worry about how your worms are while away on vacation…

…When you start to worry if you’re too excited about poop…

…When you can sit for hours watching your worm bin…

…All of the other comments are sooooo true! Its very reassuring!

~ Laina

…you show mating worms to your son and don’t understand why he isn’t as excited as you are even though you exclaim, “But you don’t understand how exciting this is!”

…your boss gets you a kitchen composter for Christmas! (thanx, John!)

…lose count of how many cocoons there are when you’re harvesting.

~ Denise

…when your proper and dignified mother proudly gives you a bag of carrot peelings she saved for your worms.

…Also, when your mother buys a Worm Inn in support of your project, but then does nothing with it. bless her heart

~ Robyn

…you keep your worms in the living room for fear they will get too cold (in the winter) and too hot (in the summer-I live in south FL).

~ Karen

…when you are buried in an avalanche of toilet paper rolls, egg cartons and brown paper bags every time you open a closet

…when you ask for boxes at the grocery store over plastic bags NOT because you are trying to be eco-friendly

…when you spend time day dreaming about the ultimate grinding machine that doubles as a worm harvester

…when you have one small tree and a few shrubs on your property yet you are still pricing chippers

…when you close your eyes and all you see are worms

…when quality time with your spouse involves watching movies while hand-shredding cardboard

~ Bentley

…when you’re seriously considering having your ashes poured onto your wormbin (is that sick or what?)

…when the thought of feeding some of your worms to your baby finches breaks your heart.

~ Kim from Milwaukee

…When you prepare new worm beds months before harvesting.

…When you know your ABCs: Amazing Bin Crawlers!!

~ Vermiman

…You start a worm bin because you are too cheap to keep buying them (worms), but once you get it going, you won’t let your fishing buddies anywhere near your babies.

~ Larry

…you visit Redwormcomposting.com multiple times per day.

…you tell your friends that no newspaper or cardboard boxes are safe in your house.

…you stet up your own neighborhood recycling center for cardboard boxes, old newspapers, vegetable scrapes, coffee grounds/filters, and tea bags.

… your friends think you are weird because you take home all the pizza boxes from the pizza party.

… your friends, instead of going to the recycling center, just give you all their cardboard boxes.

… your teacher wants you to write a report on any pet of your choice and tell how to take care of it, you write one about your worms.

~ Nathan

…you’ve just read through all the archived posts on redwormcomposting.com in case you missed something cool. You did.

~ Craig

I know I’m a true worm head when,
I go to cook at my Long Term, Nursing and rehab facility, and my co-workers ask me if I want the watermelon rines.

~ Ted

…When all of your self-help advice to your friends starts with “do you know about red worms?”

…When you get sunburnt sorting through your worm bin even though you’re wearing 55 spf sunscreen. (Seriously, there must be a time warp every time I start to play in my worm bin. Hours can pass in no time at all.)

…Your idea of quality time with your kids includes sorting worms from VC on the kitchen floor (and a requisite bath afterwards, of course!)

~ Anna

Written by Bentley on November 4th, 2010 with 33 comments.
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33 comments

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Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com cianoy
#1. November 4th, 2010, at 2:01 PM.

…when shopping for a house, the first thing you wonder about is where to place a worm bin that’s away from the sun and rain…when you’ve viewed every vermicomposting video in youtube at least twice and now you’ve finished videos using other search terms like vermiculture and worm bins…when you give your wife updates on your worms on a daily basis

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Barb L
#2. November 4th, 2010, at 2:22 PM.

When you read all the above comments with recognition and then relief that you’re not the only one!

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Anna
#3. November 4th, 2010, at 3:22 PM.

…when you write your grocery list based on what your worms will like the most.

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Ted
#4. November 4th, 2010, at 6:19 PM.

When your rescuing worms stranded on the side walk during, or after a good rain.

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Jota
#5. November 5th, 2010, at 1:50 AM.

When in a roast, in the field, with friends, while lit the fire, you’ll find horse manure…

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com John Duffy
#6. November 5th, 2010, at 1:54 AM.

Maybe we should form a wormhead support group;)
It’s a bit strange that I can remember when I first started raising worms but, I have to put my wedding anniversary on my computer pop-up calendar…Yup, I’m a wormhead

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Jean Kruse
#7. November 5th, 2010, at 3:47 AM.

When asked all you want for Mother’s Day, birthday and Christmas is another WormInn!

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Anna
#8. November 5th, 2010, at 2:22 PM.

…when all it takes to start your day right is a cup of coffee and a reading of 75°F on your worm bin thermometer.

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Larry D.
#9. November 5th, 2010, at 5:48 PM.

When your Mule walks around with a feed bag in the front,and a poo bag in the back!
When your sister calls and says she has a worm in the driveway,and you think about calling 911!
When Bic Mac! is the name of one of your worms!
When your wife says “check out these pair of spikes” and you don’t see two Perionyx excavatus! But just plain old shoes!
When someone is mad and turning red in the face,and you try to figure out what they’ve been eating!
When a farmer says “Don’t step in that!” And you say “Why?”
When hop scotch is a way of avoiding worm casualties!
When Anaerobic has nothing to do with exercise!
When a movie about soldiers has to do with larvae in your worm bin!

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Larry D.
#10. November 5th, 2010, at 6:24 PM.

When artificial fishing lures still can’t have fake worms included!
When “the Sandman” is you, putting a teaspoon in your bin,hoping the worms don’t get a “whittle tummy ache.” Not that scary fella hiding in your closet waiting to make you drowsy!
When vegetable lo mien gives you a guilty feeling watching the noodles spin on a fork!
When a lemon isn’t the kind you use in iced tea!
When a paper route involves picking through the neighbors trash for paper!
When “Honey can you bring me another roll of toilet paper?”,means if it doesn’t have paper on the roll, it is feeding time!
When getting the family out more,means having fewer worms in the vc!
When carving Pumpkins, you mess the first two up on purpose!
When “Honey,i got a fever!” means you found a hot spot in your bin!

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Larry D.
#11. November 5th, 2010, at 7:05 PM.

You can’t do “Itsey Bitsey spider because it mentions rain!
When “Two-o clock!”means there is a worm crawling out of the bin at the two-o clock position!
When Tic-Tac-Toe is a feeding pattern!
When playing fiddle is a way of catching worms!
When a “Nasty Croc!” means you stepped in cow manure!
When tax time comes,and you have to use your worms to count high enough to see how much you owe!
When you look at “Yoshi” and swear he is a funny looking worm!
When the vet calls and says “Your cat has worms”.And you say “It isn’t possible! The bin was closed!”
When dumpster diving is a contact sport!
When wood shop has 15 checker tables,3 dressers,and one worm bin!

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Larry D.
#12. November 5th, 2010, at 10:26 PM.

When an eclipse is caused by a worm bin door,knocking you in the head.And every thing goes dark for a second!
When a big bin is a worm container,not a clock!
When the term “Too much info!”doesn’t apply!
When a soccer mom puts soccer stickers on her worm bins!
When “feeling blue” means you prefer PE worms!
When this little piggy gets replaced by “wormie”!
When “three is a crowd” means you can only get one worm bin in the front seat with you!
When you keep a Tiffany lamp on top of your worm bin,in case of a burglary,hoping they will leave your worm bin!
When you go to a vermiholics anonymous meeting,and every one starts talking at the same time!
When tucking in the bed, means there is a fruit fly problem!
When “the Worm” isn’t Dennis Rodman, or a disco move!
When you watch that movie with those big worms in the sand,and say”Kevin Bacon was in that movie too!”
When the domino effect has to do with garbage falling out of a closet you were saving as worm bedding!
When you carve a perfect image of Bentley in a pumpkin.And don’t even have a sharp object!
When you invent a new worm food,and no one else can stand looking at it!
When trail mix means more than one worm poo!
When juggling two jobs involves a camera,and a tub of worms!
When an “easy chair” means a chair that allows you to prop your feet on your bin!

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Heather Rinaldi
#13. November 5th, 2010, at 11:56 PM.

When you keep checking RWC for baby news, you know you are a worm-head!

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Larry D.
#14. November 6th, 2010, at 4:32 AM.

When you get a Pseudo Scorpion tattoo,and think every one else can see it!
When you list worm owner as a previous job on your Resume’!
When Pumpkin spice is added to your food,so worms may like it even more when you are done!
When you read the sports page and are disappointed that worm wrangling is not an olympic event!
When you can say redworms backwards!
When you wear red shoestrings in a fashion statement!
When your childs first word is RWC.com!
When you use next day air for worms.And wait at the airport!
When a tylenol and two sniffs of vc is a cure for your headache!
When you actually have a worm phone!

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Larry D.
#15. November 6th, 2010, at 4:36 AM.

When your four wheel drive has a Worm inn hanging from the rear bumper!
When creepy pants, ain’t so creepy!

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Larry D.
#16. November 6th, 2010, at 11:46 AM.

When Santa wakes you up early Christmas day and says”I think you may want to open this right away and put it in some bedding!”
When you call worms”your little helpers!”
When you climb a tree to get dead leaves for worm bedding!
When you use the phrase Worm antics!
When you go to the beach,and your sand castle turns into a worm bin!
When you show your worms a menu!
When your first Big wheel morphed into a hand cranked harvester!
When your worms eat more than you do!
When you keep worms under your bed!
When your worms eat at the table with you!

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Anna
#17. November 6th, 2010, at 12:09 PM.

…When you are genuinely surprised that the 4-year-old girl visiting your house says “eew” when she finds a redworm in your garden.

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Bruce Westfall
#18. November 6th, 2010, at 6:53 PM.

…that the comment about getting sunburnt when working in the worm bins make you worry about her poor worms!
…the RWC gets checked before emails
…that after reading all the previous you never say “That’s Weird!”
…making several pots of coffee a day no longer makes you worry about waste.
… you consider just dumping the generic coffee in the bin without bothering to brew it first. ( Not good enough quality for the worms, though.)

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Larry D.
#19. November 7th, 2010, at 1:58 AM.

When three of your kids are named red,and none of them have red hair!
When a taco salad is a piece of food art you made to feed your worms!
When you name a vehicle Redworm One!
When you call QVC after watching all day and ask when the worms are gonna come on!
When being in the red means you have a pile of worms!

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Larry D.
#20. November 7th, 2010, at 11:33 AM.

When you were told as a young kid,you kept worms in your pockets.Then when you grew up,you found huge pockets of worms in your bin!
When you ask if you can work out a trade with worms or vc!
When you buy your worms Christmas gifts!
When you can no longer guess how many pounds of worms you have!
When you watch a German movie about a Disco worm,and you don’t speak German!
When red skies at night would not be a delight to see on your ceiling!
When you talk about moving out of the way before sprouts hit you in the eye!
When fertilizer becomes a bad word!
When going off to college means leaving your buddies behind.And you realize your buddies include worms!
When you take your worms to the veterinarian!
When you invented three ways to heat your home,and none of them were your home!
When your bin is bigger than a car!
When you keep talking about how much Value Bentley has at a car show.And every one else keeps looking for a car that isn’t there!

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Larry D.
#21. November 9th, 2010, at 4:03 AM.

When you celebrate worm anniversaries and milestones!
When your best friends are worm folk!
When you Watch “Mark from Kansas” videos and want him to send you an autographed bin lid!

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com nicole knottsd
#22. November 9th, 2010, at 4:11 AM.

when you prodly display a large pickle jar of worms for a livingroom coffee table display
or
a 10 gal fishtank full on the headboard

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Kator
#23. November 9th, 2010, at 10:05 AM.

Symptoms of the perfect wormhead – your wife is pregnant – in hospital – about to deliver. Squeezing her hand and panting in unison amidst those anxious moments – you’re confused .. mind swirling with feelings of joy/fright/bewilderment .. all mixed and tangled. You eye the dripping IV – you count the drops. And then, like a bolt of lightening .. sudden clarity. Can this be the perfect means to control moisture in your flow-through???

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Larry D.
#24. November 9th, 2010, at 11:10 AM.

Now,that is a good one Kator! He will call it an IAV.”Invention by a vermiholic!”
“Doc,do those come in camo?”

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Paula Allen
#25. November 10th, 2010, at 1:30 AM.

When you think about going into a bait shop to rescue the worms.

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Matt
#26. November 11th, 2010, at 10:02 PM.

… when you have a newborn, and one of the first photo’s is of him with a worm hat? ;)

… when you eat in the living room because your worm bin is on dining room table.

… when you wake in the middle of the night and get up to check on your squirm.

… when the only thing aerobic in your life is in a bin.

… when you panic because of the invention of a tubeless toilet paper roll.

… when at bed time you put an extra couple of logs into the woodstove so your indoor squirm stays warm.

… when you lack a good nights sleep because you are surfing the vermi sites.

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Larry D.
#27. November 11th, 2010, at 11:19 PM.

When you make a Country song about worms leaving you!

When red crayons are all an artist needs for a masterpiece!

When cabin fever means your worms have to stay outside,and you are sweating them making it through the winter!

When a pound of worms turns into multiple one pound orders!

When you use a stethoscope to listen to your worm bin!

When you think about life without worms! And hope you never read a book about life without them!

When you buy Twizzler cherry licorice for Easter,then make a Easter basket with licorice red worms peeking out!

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com karen
#28. November 12th, 2010, at 12:39 AM.

When you spend half an hour reading about ‘those crazy worm people’, only to later realize that you’re one of them.

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Larry D.
#29. November 12th, 2010, at 12:58 AM.

When you know the picture of worm head Jr. was taken by worm head Senior!

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Iva
#30. April 3rd, 2011, at 5:17 AM.

……when you go downstairs to do a load of laundry and find yourself–at least 20 minutes later–not by the washer, but in the middle of your worm bins, and you’ve got such dirty hands you have to go upstairs again to wash them before you can….do that load of laundry.

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Jesse M.
#31. August 17th, 2012, at 7:06 PM.

- You build new worm bins in outdoor corners of your yard – even when you don’t have worms yet, or enough produce – and start imagining how to get a population up and running
- You read this blog, and get even more excited when you have a 2 papers to write for school
- You check on your worm bins daily
- When “worming” distracts you from more important tasks

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Jaime
#32. August 28th, 2012, at 3:38 PM.

When you’re not upset that you forgot and left bread dough on the counter over night to go bad, because your worms can still eat it.

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Donna K
#33. October 27th, 2014, at 3:38 PM.

because you live in the city (with no yard), you have a worm composter in your dining room, and one at work under your desk

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